Text messages from the edge...

It’s a long day in a Japanese staffroom from 8:15 to 5pm, and it’s even longer when you only have two lessons the entire day as is sometimes the case. This is where texting others in the same situation comes in handy- alleviating the boredom for all of 2 minutes. Here are some ALT (Assistant Language Teachers)text messages:

G: Do you ever ask what you think is a simple question and it leads to a big discussion between all the JTs? (Japanese teachers)
~
Me: How the fuck can you have an English listening test when no one is listening?!

W: …how the listening test actually works is that the recording lulls them into a trance like state to where their subconscious is open to suggestion. This is when the subliminal message so carefully inserted in the recording can take effect. The message then instructs them to “forget as much English as you can”. This is why they seem to get more retarded after a listening test.
~
Me: Back at the school near me and the urge to set fire to things grows stronger by the minute- and not just for the heat either…

W: But isn’t your heart warm from the smiles of all the children?

W: Now I wanna set things on fire (ie: children)- it’s not wrong cause I’m assured that they’re being controlled by evil spirits. So if I set them alight I’m doing God’s work.
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Me: So an ex- JT will return to this school in Jan- he was away due to a mental breakdown over his lack of ability in his subject. What was his subject? English of course. Unless they had eikiwa (English conversation class) at the funny farm he is going to HATE me…

W: Lol- that’s hilarious! Good luck with that. You got a whole nutty professor thing going on.
~
W: They made me fucking run today! ME RUNNING…FUCK! At elementary no less. Teaching makes me tired enough. GOD this is going to be a horrible day.

Me: Is it bad that picturing you running is the highlight of my day? Or does it say more about the kind of day I’m having?

W: They made me play tag…yet even more running! I think I’m not going to recontract now.

Me: I’m imagining you not even able to fake like it’s fun! Ganbatte!

W: I’m gagging and coughing. I nearly vomited. No it wasn’t fun at all.

W: Whatever- you didn’t have to run.
~
S: Is there someone in your office who always sips tea really loudly? It’s driving me mad.

Me: Unfortunately yes. Almost as annoying as the guy with a perpetual cough who doesn’t cover his mouth.

S: Yeah they either don’t cover their mouths or they wear those medical masks. No middle ground
~

W: If you start digging now you can make a freedom tunnel. #...day’s never finished…Master gots me workin’…#
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Me: The ichinensei (first years) at this school make me want to get my tubes tied…
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Me: Only 2 lessons today. Kill me..
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W: How’s your murderous rages? Still feel like killing your staff?

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W: I checked it out- foreigner does translate into barbarian in Japanese. I think I’m offended.

W: Also Sanyu in Japanese means alcoholic
~

W: Do you know anyone that actually dislikes oranges? I think everyone should like them if they don’t they’re probably Muslim extremists…
~
It's picture time...

Yet another mini art project for the English notice board- also known as killing time so I don't bash my head repeatedly on the table out of boredom. I think my JT's handwriting is neater than mine so blame her for the minor error in the text.



And another- I wish I could claim that I drew the pictures but I'm really not that good. The pics are courtesy of Wil's girlfriend Jen- I merely provided colour- and a very soothing session of time wasting that was too


My favourite JT who is an absolute doll and makes my current school somewhat more bearable, and her extremely cute four year old. We got on like a house on fire as I'm pretty much still under 5 years old in my head anyway... He speaks better English than a lot of my first years scarily...


I'm always trying to improve my Japanese but I'm not sure how successful I'm going to be as Japanese is a language to be reckoned with- no lie. Annoyingly I understand more and more but am still unable to respond properly. Grr.


Days til I'm home: 8

To close- meet Arashi- this song was everywhere when I first came to Japan.

It could be worse...

...you could be a Japanese school kid.

Do not get me wrong- I am well aware that the U.K. does not have a perfect education system. Many children are failed by it and for a 'developed' country we have an disgustingly high level of illiteracy, and a high number of young people who drop out or are excluded before their minimum schooling needs are even met.

Yet, having lived in Japan now for almost 8 months, I feel a little qualified to comment on what I've seen of the Japanese education system. Admittedly I only get to see what happens in English lessons, but these are things that are bugging me/the reasons I'm glad I was never a Japanese school kid.

~ NO CENTRAL HEATING. Or air conditioning in the stupidly hot summers.

~ After school activities that once you've joined you cannot quit or swap to another club- hate it? Too bad- you're in that club for 3 years at least, come rain or shine.

~ Ijime (bullying)- sadly a fact of school life globally, but the number of victims committing suicide in Japan is such that playing 'hangman' with students is seen as inappropriate.

~ Fear of speaking out/ acute shyness. I have stood waiting for the answer to a simple question, twitching unbearably at how long a student is taking to answer and shyness plays a huge role in this. Even if classmates are whispering the answer, a lot of children lack such confidence that they are unable to utter a simple sentence. I have a third year boy (14/15 years old) who has curled up in a ball rather than speak to me. I have so many students who cover their mouths whilst talking, or get uncontrollable giggles, or look like they want to die rather than open their mouths.
It's painful for them, and it's painful to watch.

~ Disruptive kids who aren't disciplined. So much goes on in a Japanese classroom that wouldn't be tolerated for a second in England. Play up in a classroom in England and you're sure to be sent out of the classroom- do it enough and you can be excluded. Not a great solution for the problem child- but why should the rest of the class have to suffer?

~ Japanese teachers who don't speak English. Not a problem if you're learning Japanese- but not helpful if you are learning English.

~ Remember being put into ability level classes for certain subjects? Here in Japan- you decide what level you are. So we have low ability kids choosing higher level classes because that's where their friends are, or because they prefer the higher level status.

~ I am also driven crazy by the fact that worksheets are handed out at the same time as the answer sheets. I wander round the classroom and see answers being copied down mindlessly- yet ask the student what they've copied down and a look of confusion and panic crosses their faces as they've no idea. ARRRRRGGGGGHHHHH!!!

~ Exam stress- it's all about getting into a good elementary school to get into a good junior high school to get into a good high school to get into a good university to get into a good job- they really are that linked over here- which means exams, exams, exams, and lots of learning by rote.

~ Cram schools- the pressure to succeed is such that many students who can afford to attend jukus (cram schools)- this is after a regular day of schooling, and several hours of their chosen after school activity. It means that high numbers of students often fall asleep in school the next day- and they are not woken up by anyone but are allowed to sleep!

~ I also see support here for single sex schooling- it could just be a Japanese thing but the boys get all the attention, they have far more confidence and a lot of the girls look like zombies- admittedly I'd look a bit out of it if I was sat in such a dull English lesson too (and I probably do sometimes), but I want to shake some of them. Too scared to raise their voice above a whisper when called upon, or to even offer an answer. I watched as a 1st year boy swiped a 1st year girl's cake that had just been given to her by a friend. She didn't say a word. I swiped it back off him and asked her whether she wanted it and she admitted that she did. I didn't have enough Japanese to ask her why she hadn't said so to the boy.

If I had a kid in Japan I'd seriously consider home schooling.

I wrote this entry on a cranky day- but sadly even on a good day all of the above stands.

And on with the pics...



I breathed on my lens to take this :)



And my favourite time of year has begun... *raised eyebrow*- can't it be the 26th of December already?!



Yasumi displays the new yummy winter dessert menu at Joyfull. (Not a typo- they use 2 'l's.)



A letter from my 2nd years at my favourite school (they were made to write it, but still- look, it's my beloved Elmo!)

Days till I'm back in the U.K. for Xmas: 18...

And the new vid from Rip Slyme who have a new album out that I'm seriously considering buying...