Text messages from the edge...

It’s a long day in a Japanese staffroom from 8:15 to 5pm, and it’s even longer when you only have two lessons the entire day as is sometimes the case. This is where texting others in the same situation comes in handy- alleviating the boredom for all of 2 minutes. Here are some ALT (Assistant Language Teachers)text messages:

G: Do you ever ask what you think is a simple question and it leads to a big discussion between all the JTs? (Japanese teachers)
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Me: How the fuck can you have an English listening test when no one is listening?!

W: …how the listening test actually works is that the recording lulls them into a trance like state to where their subconscious is open to suggestion. This is when the subliminal message so carefully inserted in the recording can take effect. The message then instructs them to “forget as much English as you can”. This is why they seem to get more retarded after a listening test.
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Me: Back at the school near me and the urge to set fire to things grows stronger by the minute- and not just for the heat either…

W: But isn’t your heart warm from the smiles of all the children?

W: Now I wanna set things on fire (ie: children)- it’s not wrong cause I’m assured that they’re being controlled by evil spirits. So if I set them alight I’m doing God’s work.
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Me: So an ex- JT will return to this school in Jan- he was away due to a mental breakdown over his lack of ability in his subject. What was his subject? English of course. Unless they had eikiwa (English conversation class) at the funny farm he is going to HATE me…

W: Lol- that’s hilarious! Good luck with that. You got a whole nutty professor thing going on.
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W: They made me fucking run today! ME RUNNING…FUCK! At elementary no less. Teaching makes me tired enough. GOD this is going to be a horrible day.

Me: Is it bad that picturing you running is the highlight of my day? Or does it say more about the kind of day I’m having?

W: They made me play tag…yet even more running! I think I’m not going to recontract now.

Me: I’m imagining you not even able to fake like it’s fun! Ganbatte!

W: I’m gagging and coughing. I nearly vomited. No it wasn’t fun at all.

W: Whatever- you didn’t have to run.
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S: Is there someone in your office who always sips tea really loudly? It’s driving me mad.

Me: Unfortunately yes. Almost as annoying as the guy with a perpetual cough who doesn’t cover his mouth.

S: Yeah they either don’t cover their mouths or they wear those medical masks. No middle ground
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W: If you start digging now you can make a freedom tunnel. #...day’s never finished…Master gots me workin’…#
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Me: The ichinensei (first years) at this school make me want to get my tubes tied…
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Me: Only 2 lessons today. Kill me..
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W: How’s your murderous rages? Still feel like killing your staff?

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W: I checked it out- foreigner does translate into barbarian in Japanese. I think I’m offended.

W: Also Sanyu in Japanese means alcoholic
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W: Do you know anyone that actually dislikes oranges? I think everyone should like them if they don’t they’re probably Muslim extremists…
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It's picture time...

Yet another mini art project for the English notice board- also known as killing time so I don't bash my head repeatedly on the table out of boredom. I think my JT's handwriting is neater than mine so blame her for the minor error in the text.



And another- I wish I could claim that I drew the pictures but I'm really not that good. The pics are courtesy of Wil's girlfriend Jen- I merely provided colour- and a very soothing session of time wasting that was too


My favourite JT who is an absolute doll and makes my current school somewhat more bearable, and her extremely cute four year old. We got on like a house on fire as I'm pretty much still under 5 years old in my head anyway... He speaks better English than a lot of my first years scarily...


I'm always trying to improve my Japanese but I'm not sure how successful I'm going to be as Japanese is a language to be reckoned with- no lie. Annoyingly I understand more and more but am still unable to respond properly. Grr.


Days til I'm home: 8

To close- meet Arashi- this song was everywhere when I first came to Japan.