Cry me a river...

I meant to blog on the day of my one year anniversary of being in Japan, but I missed it.
Monday was my last day of teaching. Whilst giving a farewell speech to the teachers, to my surprise I started crying. A lot.
Yesterday I had my last Japanese lesson with my friend Yasumi. We cried. A lot.
Tonight I'm having a joint leaving party with my friend Eddie. I'm thinking of not wearing make-up as I'm pretty sure I'm going to be crying. A lot. Are we seeing a pattern emerging here?
Tonight will be my last night in my apartment as tomorrow I move out. I'm going to miss having my own space. I'm going to miss living in Tsuyama. I'm going to miss Japan.

I want to channel Barney, a character from the sitcom 'How I Met Your Mother':
"When I'm sad, I stop being sad and be awesome instead", but I can't fake it that well.
A huge part of me is pretty certain that I made the right decision in deciding to return to the U.K., but this whole leaving what has been my life for just over a year now feels like pulling a band-aid off. A gigantic one on my soul.
(Ok- you're allowed to laugh at my melodramatic-ness there.)

As of yet I haven't booked a flight back to the UK. In part it's me resisting the fact that a huge wad of my cash is going to be spent on a ticket back(I know, the parentals can't support me forever); but I guess I'm also reluctant to finally put a date on my departure.

On Tuesday, I'll go to Okinawa for a few days (google it), then I'll come back to Tsuyama for a bit before finally heading home- possibly via Tokyo so I can do that big shiny city again properly before I leave Japan.

I'm going to miss hearing Japanese all around me, and that excitement I get when I understand some of what's being said.
I'm going to miss using random Japanese words and sounds with other foreigners who know what I mean.
I'm going to miss communicating with Japanese people in my version of broken Japanese complete with sound effects and exaggerated facial expressions, especially when I'm understood.
I'm going to miss the weirdness that is Japan.
I'm going to miss my crazy kids.
I'm going to miss the incredibly kind people that I have met here.
I'm going to miss the feeling of being on an extended holiday despite having to work. I'm going to miss Hijiris, Salalu, chu-hi, and American big dogs.
I'm going to miss being a foreigner- as strange as that sounds.
I'm even going to miss my bike- although riding it in the summer was WORK and a half.

I cried like I'd just watched my puppy being run over on purpose on my way to Japan.
I'm pretty sure I'm going to be crying all the way back to the U.K too.

No pictures, no video- I'm too depressed...